Just Because

Just because I had 6 children in 7 1/2 years doesn't mean that I don't understand birth control and that they were accidents.  No, I don't use birth control.  I use NFP and I love the way that it works WITH my body.  But I wanted children close together and I was open to whatever came my way.

Just because I choose to make my children my life and be a stay at home mom does not mean that I am poor and uneducated.  I am in fact neither of those things.  I have an education.  We are completely and totally comfortable with our financial circumstances.  If we were not, I would reevaluate what we needed to do.  I will have plenty of time to work outside the home when they are not little.  For now, I am working on them.

Just because I was married young and had my children young does not mean that we were married because I was pregnant.  #1  was born 14 months after we were married.  Thank you very much.

Just because I am Catholic doesn't mean that I HAD to have a large family.  We wanted one.  Simple as that.  There are plenty of Catholic families that follow church teachings and don't have a ton of children.    That just wasn't what we wanted.

Just because I believe in God doesn't mean that I didn't research my faith to get a better understanding and then come into by my own choice.  I did.  I love the Catholic faith and all of it's rich traditions. There was a time in my life where I was very angry at God and it would have been much easier to just abandon everything I believed in.  But I wanted it, worked for it, and have been able to come to my faith with a much richer understanding of suffering.

Just because I make grammar mistakes often in my blog doesn't mean I don't know how to write. It just means that I am trying to go quickly before a child wakes up or that the distractions are many and I am not able to tune them out.

Just because I never saw this coming doesn't mean that I am not trying my best to embrace everything that is coming at me.

Where did I go?

There was a time not too terribly long ago (Ok it's starting to get pretty long ago now) that I actually put an effort into me.  I took pride in dressing nicely and feeling positively about my appearance.  I've never been the prettiest or the thinnest person, but I when I looked in the mirror I didn't hate what I saw and I felt pretty confident about who I was.

Today is not that day.  We went to go and pick up a new to us washer and dryer set today.  I have been without a washing machine for about three months now.  When ours died we weren't really sure what we wanted.  Did we want to scour the online garage sale sites and buy something off of there?  Did we want to go and get something brand new?  Top loader and cheaper?  Front loader and more expensive?  Too many questions and not enough motivation got me to a place where I was without any means to clean the 8 members of this household's clothing. For 3 months. 

We occasionally made super huge trips to the Laundromat where I would spend $20 in quarters and wash what seemed like everything we owned.  My brother in law has a washing machine in his shop and my husband would drop loads off there and pick them up.  But it wasn't good enough and it was time for a new washing machine before I went insane.  We found a set that was within a reasonable price range and where what we were looking for and everything worked out for them to be picked up today.

Now six kids 8 and under has me slightly frazzled.  My house in always messier than I'd like and let's be realistic, there is very little decorating done.  Everything feels unfinished.  I attempt to get a room done the second I'm not pregnant. We get close to getting somewhere and then new pregnancy= complete exhaustion, knocked back down.  When we got to the house today, the owner and I began talking.  It turns out our children were in the same class at school (very small everyone knows each other type of place) and they had just started there this year.  Yes, she only has 3 kids and her youngest 2 were in kindergarten, but I just couldn't get over how nice her house looked.  Pictures that she had chosen were up in a very conscious effort of a way. 

But that's not the part that really bugged me.  What drove me nuts was the difference between the two of us.  I usually make some sort of an effort for myself. (although I've been discovering more and more lately how little that effort has been and how far behind I am in terms of anything fashionable.) It's not like I'm showing up in pajama pants (personal hatred right there.  You're not sleeping.  Put on some damn pants lazy ass.) However, I am not by any means put together.  Today for instance, I am wearing ill fitting jeans, a big huge messy sweatshirt (an homage to the fact that the temperature is once again in the negatives) with something all over it, face sans makeup and hair that hasn't been brushed in a minimum of two days and thrown up into a very messy and unbecoming pony tail. Just yuck. 



I keep holding back from buying new clothes because a. I'm always pregnant and I have plenty of maternity clothes and b.  I am not anywhere near the size I like to be.  It's so hard to buy clothing in a size that I'm really hoping won't fit me for too long.  Ugh but after taking a good long look at myself I think it's that time.  Time to do something, anything for me.  Perhaps tomorrow I shall start with an eyebrow wax and perhaps I'll attempt to wrangle a brush through these insane tresses.

So cold

As I drove the girls to school yesterday morning, the temperature said -6 degrees.  Which is incredibly fun when you have to get six kids bundled up and outside for the drive to school.

As this time of year hits in Minnesota, I go into full out hibernation mode.  We bake cookies like mad.  (Which helps that it's Christmas time and all and I can feel like I've gotten into the Christmas spirit at least a teeny bit.)

Last night we took all the kids up to Minneapolis to see the Holidazzle parade. It's a light parade and the kids all love it.  However with the super cold temperatures, we didn't want to sit outside on the street.  Thank goodness for the crazy tubes that connect all of the buildings via skyways throughout the city and we didn't have to go outside at all.  We were able to sit above the road and watch the parade go by.

Anxiously awaiting the parade.

Afterwards we just walked around.  My kids absolutely love all of the decorations up and I love to watch the wonder in their eyes.  We only had one total and complete meltdown and I was able to calm him and myself down enough that we were able to get the oldest 5 in a picture.

Funny faces.

After we let them get that out of their systems.




Never can get all of them looking.



 

The skyways are such a lifesaver when the below zero temps hit.  Now today after a morning after playing the kiddos are all snuggled up watching a movie and keeping warm.  Finally, a baby who is getting too incredibly big on me.

Stupid camera phone and constant red eye.

 

Some day eventually I will catch up with technology and actually edit red eye out of pictures.  Today isn't going to be that day though.